Letting go of something I want SO badly, with all that I am, is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. EVER. How do I do that? How do I just let go? Everyone is telling you wait, hope, don’t give up. But everything is against me; even time. And when time and time again nothing happens, it hurts. It hurts so much. Never in my life did I ever think I would be HERE; never crossed my mind. I’m so sick of tears. I’m sick of heartache. I’m sick of emotions. I just want to let go. But at the same time, I’m afraid to. Which is why I’m stuck in this emotional roller coaster of torture. Sometimes I momentarily forget. I smile. I’m good. But it consumes me. Unless you've been there, you won't fully understand. I want to let go, but I can’t. And what does this all say about me??? Do I not believe enough?? I don’t have faith enough?? Is the answer a “no”? Because if it is, I just want P E A C E. Peace that surpasses all understanding.
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